


and the fires you light within me

by silverfoxflower



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Body Worship, M/M, Pining, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-06
Updated: 2014-09-06
Packaged: 2018-02-16 09:01:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2263737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverfoxflower/pseuds/silverfoxflower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mamihlapinatapei - The look between two people in which each loves the other but is too afraid to make the first move.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and the fires you light within me

**Author's Note:**

> Slight mention of wounds/blood.

Steve has these. Nice, square hands. Long fingers, always smudged with charcoal or colored with paint. 

They’re a little too big for his body's proportions but Bucky thinks it’s charming. Like a puppy growing into dinner-plate-sized paws. 

Today, those hands are bleeding. Gravel scratches up his palms and wrist, a fat tear on his thumb that’s oozing steadily. 

"Jesus." Bucky mutters, swabbing up the cuts with alcohol. "Stop that." He lightly slaps Steve’s hand away from his mouth, where he’d been sucking on the wound. 

"It hurts," Steve complains, the thumb popping out of his mouth with a wet sound. 

Bucky. Imagines. Pressing forward and sliding his lips against Steve’s. Wonders if his mouth would taste of blood and grit. His eyes linger on Steve’s face for maybe too long, as Steve’s faux pout melts and his brows begin to furrow.

"Something you should’ve thought of before picking that goddamn fight.” Bucky says quickly, pulling out a bandage for the saliva-slick thumb. 

—

Steve’s skin is hot. Frequently of fever, but today, it’s all the heat. 

July’s a swelter, the air heavy and wet. Their windows are thrown open wide in the thin hope of breeze. 

Bucky smacks his lips and dreams of _ice_. He dreams a vivid dream of walking down the stairs, north two blocks and across the street to the druggist, where Norma, the druggist’s daughter, sells dripping-cold sodas behind the counter and can be sweet-talked into giving him chips of ice to suck on at a time. As long as she gets to watch him do it. 

But it’s summer, and his bones feel like they've melted into the stripped mattress he and Steve are sharing. 

Steve’s turned away from him, slow rivulets of sweat gleaming as they race over the knobs of his spine. There’s a spay of freckles on his shoulder that shine golden against his fair skin. 

Bucky stares at those freckles as if they hold _constellations_. He reaches out one finger and delicately traces the lines between them. 

"Stop," Steve groans, flicking his shoulder irritably. “‘s hot.” 

Bucky retreats his hand. His dreams of ice turn to dreams of sweat-salt skin and golden freckles under his tongue. 

—

The bourbon sits heavy in his stomach, but he continues drinking until he’s nauseous with it. 

"You ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?" 

If the twist to Bucky’s mouth is bitter, well. 

"Hell, no!" he spits out, eyes flicking to Steve. Every step of the way here, he’s been looking at Steve, trying to pick out the familiar. Oh he still smiles with the right corner of his mouth first, a slow stretch of lips. Oh he still glances down and closes his eyes when he’s trying to remember something. 

Oh he’s still. Bucky’s. 

“The little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight?” Bucky says, looking down at his drink. “I’m following him.” 

Steve smiles and Bucky’s caught in it. Trapped. Swaying too close with liquor on his breath and Hydra chemicals in his veins. There’s something desperate in him that’s clawing at his chest from the inside-out. Something that makes his palms itch and his tongue dry and his eyes grow languid and dark. 

And Steve just keeps smiling. He’s looking at Bucky, but he doesn’t-

_See._

**Author's Note:**

> [more fics](http://actualmenacebuckybarnes.tumblr.com/tagged/myfic) can be found on [my tumblr](http://actualmenacebuckybarnes.tumblr.com)!


End file.
